Infantium Enigmaticum

Babies are an absolute enigma. They cry and cry and you never know what's wrong with them. And they refuse to tell you. Some people say that a mother's ear keenly recognizes the cries of her own young. On one hand I think that's possibly bullshit...and on the other hand, she ought to--she has to listen to it often enough.

Maybe the kid just watched a romantic comedy, read a Nicholas Sparks book, or parted ways with a lover... Or maybe they have a steamy surprise for you in their diaper and you just aren't unwrapping it fast enough to suit them. There could be an alien living in their stomach and devouring their vital organs for all we know! And I'm pretty sure your HMO won't cover that.