Bedtime Stories

I actually have very fond memories of bedtime stories with my mom and my little brother. The three of us would pile onto Michael's bed and choose our favorite story from Grimm's Fairy Tales or she would read Gregory the Terrible Eater (an adorable goat who only wants to eat healthy foods instead of garbage and his family just cannot seem to understand him) or The House that Jack Built. And my mother is, hands down, the best story teller. Ever. She did the best voices and when there were scary parts she'd grab our arm or leg to startle us. Or when there was a spider in the story she would tickle us mercilessly. She's more animated than many cartoon characters. It was always an adventure.

These were often very sweet times, but the truth of the matter is, she was exhausted! We would chide her for skipping pages, elbow her in the ribs when she dozed off, and always always beg for more. We always needed a bedtime snack. We were always thirsty. We always needed one more song or story. And she was so obliging. I would not be nearly as sweet-spirited about demands like this on my life. I like my sleep.

My friend Brianna posted a link on her Facebook page to the greatest story book ever written (at first as a joke) by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. It is called Go the F--k to Sleep. This is what I would read to my children. And that is another reason I'm not having any. Because while this is a humorous bedtime story joke for grown-ups, I'm not kidding. (Ok, so maybe I wouldn't actually read it to them, but I would think it. All the time.) Check out the audio of Samuel L. Jackson reading the book. Or, for an international flare, listen to Werner Herzog read. Priceless.

This page is probably my absolute favorite: